


Fuck, Why Am I Doing This?

by ameliaproblems



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Pornstars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 17:19:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1274686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ameliaproblems/pseuds/ameliaproblems
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is no stranger to the stars of simoncowell.com, but when he becomes a pornstar himself he has the sneaking suspicion that he's made a huge mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck, Why Am I Doing This?

“So Niall, this is your first time on camera, yeah?” The voice floated from behind the shot.

“Yeah, I’m kind of nervous.” Niall shifts uncomfortably on the edge of the desk he is seated on, pink blooming on his cheeks.

“Why are you nervous?”

“The first video I ever saw had Liam in it, he’s just so legendary.”

Liam is sitting next to Niall, his arm tightening a little around Niall’s shoulders. “Now I don’t know if I’ll live up to my reputation, but we’re going to have fun today.”

“Ok, Niall, Liam, do you both know the story for today’s scene?”

“Yeah, um, I’m a lazy frat boy who’s failing a, um, class and Liam is my professor.” His cheeks are so hot he’s worried he has a fever. Liam smirks at the camera. “So, Niall, is there anything you want to do today, anything you want Liam to do to you?”

“He can, he can, do whatever he wants.” The words rushed out in a single harsh breath. “Where did you even find this one, he’s precious,” Liam chuckles, much to Niall’s further embarrassment. This was all of Niall’s dreams and nightmares rolled into one.

—————————

When he applied as a model at the Simon Cowell Productions, Niall was sure they would laugh in his face and send him on his way. Simon Cowell, who moonlighted as the voice behind the camera, did laugh when Niall said he was 20, asking him if he was sure, and needing to see some proof. Once his legality was all squared away though, Cowell had started asking Niall some very personal questions.

“Please tell me you’re not here to film with women, you are just too cute for anyone to take that seriously, I mean maybe femdom, but…” Cowell seemed to just be talking to himself. “No, I, I mean, I’m gay, you do do that here, right? Oh God, did I come to the wrong place?” Niall was starting to panic, the man at the desk still mumbling under his breath about strap-ons and how disappointed all the other male models were going to be. 

Cowell seemed to snap himself out of it though when his brain processed what Niall had said. “Perfect, bottom or top?”

“Well, bottom, I guess, but-“

“Good, good, excellent. Have you ever done corporal?”

“What now? Oh, like hitting and stuff? No.”

“Please, hitting, he says, like we’re savages. Can you believe this?” There was no one else in the office with them. 

Niall was starting to think he had made a horrible mistake, when his every teenage fantasy poked his head into the office. Liam Payne was even bigger in real life; Niall’s small computer screen had obviously done him grievously wrong over the years.

“Simon, I don’t want to do this teacher-student scene. How are Louis and I supposed to be convincing at all? That aging twink looks like he hasn’t been in a classroom since the 70s.”

“Liam, honestly, you two have to work together sometimes. Our subscribers pay membership fees to the website, and they want you to film together. You agreed to this last week, what changed your mind? Did Louis insult your intelligence again, because I don’t pay you to be-“

“He said in the pre-scene interview that he was most apprehensive about my ability to be a believable professor.”

At this point Niall was just trying to back out the office as unobtrusively as he could, but of course, he stumbled into the shelf by the door (and honestly, who puts a shelf by the door?) knocking all the explicitly shaped awards into each other and reminding the other two men of his presence.

Liam and Simon both stared at him, taking in his tank top and snapback, then they looked at each other, and back at Niall.

—————————

That was how Niall came to be sitting at a desk in a classroom set in front of Liam Payne (Liam Payne!) getting ready for some marginal acting and a proper fuck. Niall had followed all the instructions he was given that morning, had cleaned and stretched himself thoroughly in the shower, putting on the clothes they wanted him to wear for the shoot. He felt a bit silly in sweats and a jock, but he’d watched enough porn to be able to appreciate what an ass in a jockstrap looks like and why people paid to see it.

“You show up late, if you show up at all. You sleep during lecture, and once during an exam, if I recall. If you don’t pass this next test, you’re going to fail my class.”

“But, Professor Payne! I’ll get kicked out of my frat if I fail another class! Please. There has to be something I can do to raise my grade? I’ll do anything.”

“Well there is something you can do…if you know what I mean.” 

“Who even writes this stuff? Or does Simon just make it up on the drive in?” Niall thought to himself as he sauntered over to the desk Liam, khakis tented. “At least those will be gone in a minute.”

“Get over here, boy, let’s see if you’re ‘up’ for some extra work.” Niall slid to his knees and started to crawl towards Liam, keeping eye contact, and seeing the other man swallow hard. “Oh, I think I’m up for it. But are you?” He ran his hands up the other Liam’s thighs, mouthing his erection, reveling in the grunt coming from above.

Niall popped open the button on Liam’s khakis and pulled out his cock, speaking of things that are bigger in person. Niall must’ve stared in too much awe, because suddenly Simon was yelling ‘cut’.

“Horan, could you try to look a little less intimidated by a dick! You’re in a porno, we have limited time and no budget to film this. And Payne, why aren’t you saying anything, did you even look at the script I gave you this morning?”

“Script, hah,” Niall giggled to himself. Liam looked down at him, and snorted. 

“Idiots, I work with a bunch of big dicked, little brained idiots.” 

This was going to be a long day.

—————————

Niall shifted uncomfortably, back on the too hard desk, the desk he had been fucked over. He and Liam were supposed to be giving their post-scene interviews, but Niall was having trouble focusing on the questions. He busy feeling the sensations all over his body; Liam had lived up to his nickname, The Payne Train, and more. Niall didn’t even know his body could bend and twist in many of the ways it had been bent and twisted that day.

He was pulled back into the moment by Cowell saying his name, “So, Niall, will you be joining us for more shoots in the future?”

“Uh, yeah, definitely, that was, um, fun.”

“Can you say your names for the viewers?” Liam had to nudge Niall slightly, to get his attention again.

“Oh. I’m Niall Horan,” he waved slightly. “And I’m Liam Payne, and this this is simoncowell.com.”

—————————

“Hey, you good? You seemed kind of out of it there.” Liam turned to Niall, both still on the desk. “Hmm. Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Just thinking.”

“Well stop thinking so hard, I want to introduce you to the boys.” Liam helped Niall up and guided him off the set with a hand on the small of his back.

Niall still couldn’t believe that he had just done that. Every grunt and growl from Liam, the sharp smack that he’s sure is still a handprint on his ass, bounce around Niall’s head. He’s barely able to concentrate on the rooms Liam is pointing out to him as they make their way back to the dressing area.

Niall stumbles as Liam pushes him a little bit behind him upon entering the doorway to the room, he pulls himself together and looks up to see three other men staring at him. A tall half man/ half bird stalks toward him, a bright scarf wound into his unruly hair. He slips around Liam, gripping Niall’s chin, inspecting his face and making small noncommittal noises. He reaches down and grabs Niall’s ass right where Liam had spanked him (how did he know?!), pulling Niall flush against his body.

“Oi, Harry, lay off, yeah?” comes from one of the others in the room, Niall isn’t sure because his vision is full of this Harry character.

“He’ll do nicely. Don’t get mad if Louis and I borrow him some time, Payne.” Harry finally let him go and Niall thumped against the door jamb.

“Hi, I’m Louis Tomlinson, that big buffoon was Harry Styles.” The small man stuck his hand out to Niall, who shook it. “Anyway, like Harry said, whenever you want to hang out, the two of us are here. And we don’t bite, unless you want us to.” Niall is sure that that is not what Harry meant, but he decides to let it slide because he’s blinded by the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

Zayn Malik is somehow even more gorgeous in person, which is just not fair, really. And damn, if he hadn’t starred in a good number of Niall’s teenage fantasies. “Um, hello, I’m Niall Horan, I’m such a huge fan.” Niall almost whispers, his hand shooting out awkwardly.

“Oh, excellent, I’m sure you just loved all those incredibly accurate portrayals of prisoners of war, well I’ll have you know that-“ 

“No! What? No, that video you did with your girlfriend at the time, in the real-life couples series? That was so intense. Also, I read one of your papers in my literature class, the one on the social construction of race and Shakespeare?”

“That paper is still being used to teach?! I wrote that years ago for that class, and I got a B!”

————————  
Zayn and Liam drifted off in to their own little world so Niall was able to grab his backpack and get dressed.

He walked out of the dressing room and tried to navigate his way out of the building, almost walking in on a shoot that Harry and Louis were doing.

Niall was mesmerized, unsure if people who were being paid to have sex on camera were allowed to look at each other like that. Harry loomed over Louis in the large bed, pulling a banana seemingly out of nowhere.

Niall took that as his cue to continue trying to solve the maze he seemed to be in when Harry looked up suddenly, making eye contact with Niall. He was completely nude, with only a skewed headscarf in his hair. Niall was riveted to the floor as Harry climbed out of bed, making his way toward him. Louis sat up in bed amused and a little pissy.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Every fucking time.” Simon swore from the other side of the room.

Louis spoke up then “Niall, I’m going to try and get his attention, and once I do, you need to run.”

—————————

Niall all but sprinted home to the small apartment that he shared with his buddy Josh. Once he had showered and changed he noticed that he had 3 new messages on his phone.

‘heyyyy bud, it’s liam. nicked your phone for your number while you were making heart eyes at zayn”

He was most certainly not making heart eyes at Zayn. Was he?

‘Hello Niall, it’s Zayn, from Simon’s and of lit paper fame. I rescued your phone from Liam while you were grabbing your bag. See you soon! (We didn’t scare you off right?)’

And the third message just said ‘I’m not sure how Harry got your number, but he put it in my phone for some reason, he says hi’

Niall couldn’t stop the smile that crossed his face, he definitely wouldn’t mind working with those four lunatics, not at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to slashter for the encouragement!


End file.
